I really think we can probably just start and end this post with a single sentence: You are fucking fabulous.

But sometimes we need help along the way to believe it. I know I do. 

This is especially true if you are femme, black/brown, broke, old, non-binary, disabled, or any other form of “other-ness.” We live in a patriarchal, homophobic, ableist, capitalist society that isn’t always friendly to us “others.”

We absorb messages our entire life that reinforce that we’re not good enough. We’re not pretty enough, thin enough, white enough, young enough, straight enough…

Many of us believe that we need to change parts of ourselves to fit in. I know I did.

Growing up, I was bullied. I was a smart kid – but my classmates made it clear: being pretty was WAY more important than being smart. Adults often reinforced this belief. The adults I met would often comment on my appearance but never my precociousness. I learned that boys didn’t like it when I was too smart or too loud. Fashion magazines taught me that I should be blonde and a size two. I inflicted cell death on my delicate, Northern European skin by frying myself in tanning beds even though the doctor told me it would kill me. I injected botulism toxin in my forehead as a “preventative measure” against wrinkles, as if gaining more life was a bad thing.

As if that weren’t bad enough, I was never fully comfortable at work either. My appearance was constantly being micromanaged. I experienced both blatant and subtle sexism: A man at a professional function once called me a “dumb blonde.” Many more men refused to look me in the eye or answer my questions during work meetings. I felt like I had to change the way I spoke, the way I behaved, the way I dressed to fit into a world where I felt like a foreigner.

If any of this is relatable to you, then I’m here to tell you what helps me when I’m feeling like an outcast in this world.

Let’s start at the beginning: the fact that you even exist is a freaking miracle. You came into this world despite being on a rock, spinning rapidly around a big ball of fire, and a whole host of potential things that could prevent you from getting here. But you’re here. Seriously – that in itself is a reason to be stoked when you wake up in the morning.

The truth is, the journey to believing those words is different for everyone. And the sad thing is, some of us never get there. Some of us will never truly see how fabulous we are.

And then some of us don’t know what happened but one day we wake up and we’re tired of NOT believing it, and sometimes, that’s all it takes.

That’s where I am these days. Not perfect. Not unshakable. But so tired of believing that I am worthless.

So I remind myself over and over again: You are fucking fabulous. 

I repeat it like a mantra. Even if you don’t believe it at first, even if you feel like a weirdo, with enough repetition, it starts to solidify in your consciousness: You. Are. Fucking. Fabulous*. 

*The “fucking” part is arguably the most important part of this sentence, for emphasis. 😉

You. Are. Fucking. Fabulous.

And on any day that you need a reminder, come back here to read these words.

xoxo,

Molly

love, molly