The Types of Energy Vampires
The term “energy vampire” might sound spooky (’tis the season) or even silly, but it’s a very real thing. And if you’ve ever encountered one, you know exactly who they are. Energy vampires are those people (or things) in your life that constantly drain you. They’re takers. They’re exhausting. And they’re literally bankrupting your energy reserve. According to Dr. Christine Northrup, “they tend to lack empathy and don’t always care what others are thinking or feeling.”
At From Molly With Love, we believe in practicing radical self-care, and there are few better things you can do than kick those energy vampires to the curb. But do you know what to look out for? Energy vampires come in many forms. So, naturally, the first step is to be familiar with the types of energy vampires. While this list is by no means exhaustive, here is a good start:
Types of Energy Vampires:
- Narcissists: Dr. Christine Northrup asserts that narcissistic people are often energy vampires. A quite literal example from our daily lives, is the United States’ President*. These can be the scariest kind, because often, they’re intelligent, charming, and charismatic; but also never satisfied, self-motivated, manipulative, and sometimes even abusive.
- Negative Nancies: These are the people in your life who are always complaining, talking shit, and who have a generally negative view on life. If you’re trying to be a more positive person (I am currently working on that), you have to spend time with more positive people than you do negative.
- Drama Queens and Kings: Oh, you already know these people. They thrive on stirring up unnecessary drama in your life. They love to spill tea, spread rumors, and generally wreak havoc on any inner peace you’ve cultivated.
- The “Takers:” At various points of my life, I have been struck by how many people I’ve met that only talk about themselves without ever asking about me. I’ve marveled at the number of conversations I’ve had where I was just sitting there mute for what seemed like hours just listening to the other person prattle on. Sound familiar? Yep – but it can manifest in other forms, too. …Like the friend who always needs a shoulder or to be bailed out, but forgets your birthday.
- Chaos Seekers: These are people who LOVE to get in their own way, make the same mistakes over and over again, who text that ex at 2 am even though they promised not to, and whom trouble follows. You often have to babysit, give advice, and help them stay centered. But this can be emotionally exhausting at best and completely frustrating at worst.
Again, this list isn’t exhaustive – and it doesn’t just apply to people. There can be THINGS in your life that are energy vampires. That job you hate, your empty bank account, the 50 volunteer activities you signed up for…. You get my drift.
How to Get Rid of Energy Vampires
Step 1: Hire a Shaman. Just kidding. Only kinda.
Consider we all have energetic bodies. I’m not just talking about physiological energy reserves (coffee can’t cure everything, although some of you will argue with me about that). I’m talking about a more subtle kind of energy that emanates from within and without your body. If you’ve heard of “chakras,” they’re a part of it, but not all of it.
OK, I hope I haven’t lost you with the woo-woo, but even Queen Oprah recognizes this subtle energy body. According to Her Majesty:
“You can use some of your own subtle energy to counter the effects of an energy vampire. Visualize a protective white light around you: an energy shield. You can still hear the person who’s yelling at you or blaming you or pushing herself into your sphere, but she won’t cut into you so viscerally anymore. You’ve created a buffer zone, where her negative influences can dissipate.”
You can do this as a preventative measure, too. If you know you have to be around someone who drains you, imagine that subtle, protective white light all around you, but instead this time it’s completely impenetrable. No one or nothing can get into your bubble.
In fact, since energy vampires are so spooky, we’re doing a Halloween promotion from Oct 24 – 31 where you can get a free mini white sage smudge spray ($8.99 value) with purchase. Oh, and there is free shipping! Use code VAMPIRE at check out.
Step 2: Set Boundaries
Ok this one is kind of a bummer…
Ultimately the best decision for you might be spending less time with certain people you love. In other situations, it might actually mean severing relationships completely.
Or, it could mean having to have awkward conversations with people. Ya know, something like, “Can you please try to refrain from shit talking while you’re around me? I am trying to be a more positive person.”
Sooo NOT fun but probably necessary.
If you’re still not sure if you have energy vampires in your life, you can take this handy quiz from Psych Central.